Game of Thrones rules the lives of it’s many fans worldwide, turning even the quaintest suburban streets into the bloodthirsty kingdom of Westeros. It’s infiltrated your life more than you’d care to imagine, as you picture riding a dragon to work and slicing off the head of an intern who sassed you. But it’s managed to find it’s way into a place you thought was sacred-your love life. Here are the Game of Thrones characters you’ll date in real life.
1. King Joffrey- The Jerk
Says he’s going to call, doesn’t, says he’ll meet you at the restaurant, doesn’t, says he won’t torture a prostitute to death, doesn’t. These kind of guys are generally drunk on a sense of their own power, have expensive hair, and start out sweet and nice only to turn into the biggest dick in the world when there’s any kind of commitment on the line.
2. Tyrion Lannister- The Alternative One
His family don’t like him, his friends make fun of him, but everyone secretly has a whole lot of respect for the dude who’s going his own way. He’s not in with the cool crowd, and really doesn’t seem to give a damn. He’s not posturing for anyone. And it’s not like the ladies dislikes him, anyway- he’s always surrounded by women (only some of which he’s paid for).
3. Daenerys Targaryen- The One With Protective Friends
Jeez, seriously, it’s not like you’re going to kill this chick or anything! Given half a chance, all her friends will be breathing fire at you and basically trying to scare you away from this badass woman. You always get the feeling there’s something she’s not telling you about them. Maybe they secretly hate you. Yeah, that’s definitely it.
4. Cercei Lannister- The One Who’s Weirdly Close with Her Family
Sure, you like your family- we all do, because we have to. But does she have to be so…touchy with them? Does she really need to travel home every weekend for their traditional family dinner? And should you be freaked out that she’s mentioned that she shared baths with her brother till she was thirteen? Anyway, just try and put it out of your mind for now. She’s really hot, after all.
5. Jon Snow- The Try-Hard One
Yes, we get it, you so totally outside of society’s rules and your family don’t want you and you never even knew your real father. Snore. Despite his genuine trials, there’s something off-puttingly earnest about this guy, something which just seems to scream “pay attention!” when he’s trying to swing his sword casually. Generally gets by on his looks alone, doesn’t actually get very far.
6. Lord Ned Stark- The One Who Leaves Before He Pays the Bill
Well, goddammit if that isn’t just rude. Sure, the date wasn’t going insanely well, but he could have at least hung about till the bill arrived- wait, what happened? Okay, I’m sorry. I take all of it back.